I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
All I want is dick and wine.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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