You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Randomize
