They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
