there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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