Ambien. No doubt about it.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Dignity is for republicans.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
