i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
