you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
