I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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