I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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