i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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