You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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