Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize