The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
