the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
