and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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