Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
