I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
