remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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