the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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