I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize