i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize