Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Everclear isn't food dammit
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
