You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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