It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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