I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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