Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
