well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
My dad just said "fuck circus"
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
