Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
