I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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