They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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