and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
