Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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