I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
