i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
The air was thick with penises
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize