We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Randomize
