May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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