Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
