my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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