I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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