My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
