so that wasnt chicken after all
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
