it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
