I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize