SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize