So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
