At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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