so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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