Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just found puke in my bra..
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Randomize
