Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
