Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
