I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
