she was so not down for the gang bang
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
