You just made me feel so damn special
We're like a lot better than the average bears
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
