I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
