When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
