who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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