she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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