I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Dicks are not precious.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize