I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
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