she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
