The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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